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2002-11-24 | 10:06 a.m.
No Pain, No Argument
I tell people that I started knitting because I wanted something to do with my hands when I quit smoking, which is technically true, but like facials, decorating, and perfecting a deliciously flaky pie crust, it�s one of those things that I get to do without shame because I�m gay. I might as well take advantage of it. Knitting led to cross stitch, which led to beading, which led to my current and most aggravating endeavor, quilting. I am a 26-year-old male quilter. (I don�t care if I am gay, it�s still embarrassing.) After making a few practice quilts, I took on the hardest pattern I had seen: The Star of Bethlehem. It sounds gentle and non-imposing, doesn�t it? Names can be deceiving. Forget getting a college degree in actuarial sciences, this was far more difficult than anything I�ve ever been delusional enough to try. And I failed. I got through almost the whole damn thing, and the corners wouldn�t come together. I was 5 inches short on each corner, which basically led to me calmly stuffing the quilt in the closet for nearly a year and declaring that I never liked that damn quilt anyway. Quilt Shmilt. Last night, prompted by a comment on my diary by Nividian, I forgave it for being so difficult and for making me feel like a failure. I made peace with it right before I ripped it apart. I actually just needed a few minor adjustments to the border. Check out the pictures (forgetting the fact that I haven�t put the back on and finished the edges or ironed out the wrinkles that a year in the closet is liable to cause): And check out the troublesome corner. The precision, the beauty, it�s nothing short of a miracle: I�m not very good at failing, even at quilts. How silly is it that I didn�t make the finalists for that funniest diary entry contest, and I don�t feel like I can write anymore. For the last five days, I tried and couldn�t get half way through a sentence without second-guessing everything I�d just written. Actually, I was in that phase before, now I�m in the vindictive phase and after every sentence I think, �I wonder if the judges will like THAT� bastards.� It�s not very often that I try and still fail, but when I do, it�s crushing. Just ask SP after I get a failure notice from an actuarial exam, and he has to watch me, unshaven, motionless, and teary eyed, wrapped up in a quilt on the couch for a week straight. You know those inspirational sayings, �You win some, You lose some.� Fuck those sayings. What Stuart Smalley drone came up with those? I want a new saying, �You win some, It�s ok to cry a lot if you don�t.� Well, despite the lack of belief in inspirational gobbledy-gook, I think I made a great leap forward in my emotional development yesterday. I may have shot the horse, but I still got back on him and together we rode to Bethlehem.
�No pain, No gain.�
�You�ve got to get back up on the horse.�
�No pain, thank god.�
�Shoot the fucking horse already.�
Now it's your turn... 12 comments so far: ThatGrrrl - 2002-11-24 09:37:18
Wow! That's beautiful! I'm so glad you made peace with the quilt and then made it work out so nicely. Awesome.
you're the poo. i am in fucking awe.
It wasn't one week, it was six. :)
Celebrate the wonder of Quilting! WooHoo!
Whee! I'm good for something! Now I'm not going to sit and eat rice all day in a sulk because my Cozy Christmas quilt isn't working with me. I'm gonna go back in there and beat it's ass into submission! Your SoB looks wonderful! I haven't tried anything that complicated. I hate triangles. I keep ending up with them cuz they're beautiful, but whatever. I've gone a few Trip (around the world) quilts, this Cozy Christmas one, a Rail Fence, a mystery quilt, and my Jewel Box quilt. I think that's it. Maybe there's more. And piffle on your embarrassment. If you can turn out something that good looking, fuck the critics!
heeey. love the quilt! it rocks. if you want to read my diary just leave me a note and ask for the password and stuff. <3
Quilting hmmm? Now I don't feel bad about my cake decorating skills! But it is a nice quilt... very nice. Worthy of all the pain and frustration.
This proves once and for all that even if you've stayed in the closet too long you can come out and be a star! Beautiful work!
Oooohh, I want to wrap myself up in your quilt and go to sleep. And quit listening to that naggy voice in your head when you feel like writing. I suffered a years-long writer's block because I put up with that bitch of a voice for far too long. And RRRRR -- wish I had one ounce of the talent you've demonstrated in either quilting, decorating, writing, and mathematics. And *sigh*, I am feeling veclempt today. So relax and have some fun for me!
i like your diary. *heart*
Awww! My mother quilts, but it looks nothing like yours. She had this *fabulous* idea to make a pin wheel quilt with bright orange and camouflage... It's the ugliest thing I've ever laid eyes on. Oh well. If you think being called a quilter is bad, you should think of the pain when you have to go to 'smocking' meetings.
if you fall off the horse, sue the owner and make him sell the horse on the black market to pay your fees. simple solution to a lifelong problem.