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Racist Hamsters

I�m not awake yet.

To solidify that fact, I had to try typing that sentence 4 times before I found the right sequence of keys, and I�m a good typist. I even had a job as a secretary for 3 months once. Impressed?

I have to go back to work today, dammit. I took yesterday off to study all day, seeing as how the exam date is rapidly approaching and I weep thoroughly at the thought of it.

I studied for 12 straight hours, and the only thing I can remember today is that I have more nose hair than a monkey. I could be in a traveling freak show for the forest that grows in my snout. At one point yesterday, I was so desperate to distract myself from studying that I wandered into the bathroom to do a bit of tweezing. I got through one full nostril and looked into the sink and saw what I thought was a hamster, but it was just the pile of discarded nose hairs. That was enough to send me back to studying.

Of course, I didn�t get to the other nostril yesterday, so now I have one hairless and one hairy. I wonder if I�ll lean to one side when I try and walk. Can that sort of thing throw you off balance like an ear infection? We soon shall see. But for now it�s almost 5:04am, I�ve been up for 15 whole minutes and I�m not in my car yet, driving to work to do more studying. And I�m feeling guilty for it. What kind of a life is that?

Does anyone have a job for a failing actuary who�s slightly jaded against the world and has long, course black hairs protruding out of one side of his face? Something that doesn�t require that I leave the house, pass exams, or use the telephone would be great. Send inquiries by clicking on one of those clicky buttons above.

I�m so very tired.

P.S. Thank you for all the new people who listed me as a favorite or sent me a note or email recently. I get no greater thrill than seeing I have a new reader or knowing that I managed to somehow make someone laugh with this dribble. Unfortunately, studying 12 hours a day and weeping for 9 hours afterward leaves very little time for responding to your emails. Mangus said that he learned it was rude to not list someone as a favorite immediately after they list you, but I�m just going to have to be rude here and tell you a little story. I once added someone to my favorites after reading a few quick entries that I thought were cynical and funny, and then proceeded to read the daily updates containing the most ignorant, racist, bigoted things ever spewn forth in a diary before, and I was more ashamed and embarrassed than Dan Quayle at a 4th grade spelling bee. The point being, please don�t be offended because I haven�t responded to your note or email or added you as a favorite. I just haven�t had the time to weed you out as a psycho nazi-sympathizer yet. I�ll get back to you soon.