�

The noon rule

Random bits of funniness from my friend, Slick.

Discussing drinking habits, I explained that I couldn't order a drink with our lunch because it was 11:30am and I don't drink before noon...

"I don't like to limit myself like that."

Discussing how many times we eat at Wendy's in one week...

"I didn't go on Sunday. By the time 12 o'clock rolled around and I was hungry for lunch, I was too drunk to drive."

Discussing our mutual friend's wedding (see previous entry)...

"I've been to a hundred Catholic weddings. The weird thing is, I don't know any Catholics. They just pretend to be Catholic long enough to get married."

Discussing lottery tickets...

"I really wanted to win, so I bought the expensive $5 ticket. I lost anyway. There goes my only plans for the future."

Discussing high school jobs...

"I got high, went to the kitchen of this rectory, snacked on food all day, mopped the floor and went home. And the priests never even tried to touch me. I must have been just over the maximum molestation age."